Stay With Me, Sarah

I'm a 25-year-old college student currently fighting chronic depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, and bipolar disorder.

Why are all of the guys I like either:

a) Ending a messy relationship and embroiled in tons of drama

b) In an unhappy relationship but unwilling to get out of it because they’re still attached

c) Really far away

d) Convinced that I’m not even an option?

bipolar problems



can’t tell if hypomanic or just not depressed anymore

this is the fucking worst.

I think I’m just not depressed. When I’m manic, I feel out of control, like I’m on a roller coaster and I can’t stop what I’m saying or doing, like I’m a few seconds behind whatever I actually do. That’s the best way for me to characterize the difference between happiness and mania, but I guess everybody has their own gauge. It’s just a matter of finding it.

I like to hug my cat’s butt and kiss it. It’s just so round and fuzzy, like a giant kiwi.

These are my favorite shots from my last photoshoot with Emma. Some are a little over-processed, but I’m really happy with them overall.

Can’t sleep. Took two sleeping pills. One of my cats is enchanted by my lizard. Nobody else notices the lizard, but he gets up on his back paws and watches her walk around, and she watches him. It’s sweet. He has never had many friends.

I’m going to try to go to sleep now, I think the pills are kicking in because I feel like I’m gonna fall over. If I have the energy tomorrow, I will build a cinder block bed. With a cinder block headboard.

Got the rabbit. NO REGRETS. So damn cute. And his previous owners were really nice and made sure he had a nice habitat and everything she needed, including toys, so he’s really nice and well-adjusted.


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Everything I make goes towards my PhD!

Can you make some tackling weight issues? I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had friends say “You’re not THAT fat,” or “You’re fat but you have a really pretty face.”

I’m getting a rabbit. As of 8 p.m. tonight, I will officially have too many pets—four cats, two guinea pigs, a rabbit, a leopard gecko, a fish, and 90-something plants.

And then I’ll stop. I promise.

And my apartment looks hella cute and is more clean than usual, so I don’t think anybody can accuse me of hoarding. Someone offered me a female guinea pig (so then I could have BABIES!) but I said no because, like, I don’t think that’s fair to any of the pigs. This isn’t a problem, right?