Stay With Me, Sarah

I'm a 25-year-old college student currently fighting chronic depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, and bipolar disorder.

Can’t sleep. Took two sleeping pills. One of my cats is enchanted by my lizard. Nobody else notices the lizard, but he gets up on his back paws and watches her walk around, and she watches him. It’s sweet. He has never had many friends.

I’m going to try to go to sleep now, I think the pills are kicking in because I feel like I’m gonna fall over. If I have the energy tomorrow, I will build a cinder block bed. With a cinder block headboard.

Got the rabbit. NO REGRETS. So damn cute. And his previous owners were really nice and made sure he had a nice habitat and everything she needed, including toys, so he’s really nice and well-adjusted.

I reconsidered the crazy mirror writing. Makes me look worse than I am. So I cleaned it up… And then took all of the light bulbs out of the bathroom. And put them in a box in the closet.

I’m officially going psycho. I wrote “TURN OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING LIGHT” in red lipstick on our bathroom mirror.
When we first moved in, I kept asking her to turn it off because it kept me up at night. She never did. Finally I just gave up on asking.

We had a huge fight two weeks ago. I was upset because I felt she was being self-centered—never considering my thoughts or feelings, when I always did the same for her. (Example: she abandoned me in the ghetto after my last bus had run because even though she was one block away in her car, she had “had a bad day” and didn’t feel like driving me home, and when I got home at 3 a.m. filled with adrenaline from jogging home in the ghetto, I baked her a birthday cake. Sent her a photo of it saying happy birthday, and she wrote back: “You better not have used MY strawberries.”)
She keeps leaving the doors unlocked (the house was broken into on Monday, but our neighbors were hit, not us), AND LEAVING THIS LIGHT ON. It’s been driving me crazy for months. Asking her to stop never did anything.
So I wrote this. If she leaves the doors unlocked again, I’m leaving more lipstick notes until she gets it. Just plain old asking nicely hasn’t done anything. I’ve had to turn that light off five times today, and I’ve had to lock the doors behind them four times.

I’m becoming a psycho, I’m afraid. Should I go clean this off before she sees it? She’s watching a movie with her boyfriend. (On whom she’s cheating with two different people.)

I’m officially going psycho. I wrote “TURN OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING LIGHT” in red lipstick on our bathroom mirror.

When we first moved in, I kept asking her to turn it off because it kept me up at night. She never did. Finally I just gave up on asking.

We had a huge fight two weeks ago. I was upset because I felt she was being self-centered—never considering my thoughts or feelings, when I always did the same for her. (Example: she abandoned me in the ghetto after my last bus had run because even though she was one block away in her car, she had “had a bad day” and didn’t feel like driving me home, and when I got home at 3 a.m. filled with adrenaline from jogging home in the ghetto, I baked her a birthday cake. Sent her a photo of it saying happy birthday, and she wrote back: “You better not have used MY strawberries.”)

She keeps leaving the doors unlocked (the house was broken into on Monday, but our neighbors were hit, not us), AND LEAVING THIS LIGHT ON. It’s been driving me crazy for months. Asking her to stop never did anything.

So I wrote this. If she leaves the doors unlocked again, I’m leaving more lipstick notes until she gets it. Just plain old asking nicely hasn’t done anything. I’ve had to turn that light off five times today, and I’ve had to lock the doors behind them four times.

I’m becoming a psycho, I’m afraid. Should I go clean this off before she sees it? She’s watching a movie with her boyfriend. (On whom she’s cheating with two different people.)

While looking for hammers on Amazon, this is what I found. I love the reviews. I’m a radical feminist, but I’m going to buy one of these hammers because I like flowers, floral patterns, and stylish things. The guys in my gaming group don’t understand, but feminism is really more about choice than “flowers bad, manly things good.” Funny, though. I want to be friends with Kate C.

Wasn’t paying attention and got spray paint ALL OVER my hand. This is after 15 minutes of scrubbing and soaking.

The baskets look lovely, though.

Wasn’t paying attention and got spray paint ALL OVER my hand. This is after 15 minutes of scrubbing and soaking.

The baskets look lovely, though.